Okay, so, soliloquy full of allusion I'm going to make it spoken by guy named Christopher about his love interest whose name is Shauna and about his family because he has to choose between them because let's say, it's the 1920s and she's black and his family is racist and it's all a bunch of crap so, yeah alright. let's go.

lips painted strawberry red haunt me at the dinner table because thoughts of her are against the rules and my family creeps into my mind every time she waves at me on the street. how betrayed they'd feel. Oh, how an angelic woman can be seen as a devil by the color of her skin and how an era of evolution, an era of prosperity can still lead to heartbreak, when all of your money counts for nothing because love counts for everything and there isn't a number of dollars in the world that can buy it and nearing terminal velocity, I see no way to keep from falling but i’m not sure the angels knew the pain of landing quite so hard into a personally prescribed hell. The only place to rest my eyes upon is the sky, so decisive, sliding from sunlight to blackened night each day without pause, I can only feel jealousy.

My heart seems perched on a railroad, neither left nor right has more appeal to it, but continuing my time in between truths and lies will prove to do nothing but destroy me. My soul aches at conundrums collecting in the corners of my mind, with nowhere to go and, yet still, nowhere to be I’m crumbling like london’s bridge. I will find a course that is proper, perhaps with a bit of advice. Yes, that shall be my goal for now; I will find a trustworthy bulwark to teach my what i should do. Maybe I shall ask my brother. No, he’d only have venom towards it. There is nobody to listen to my words, no confidant waiting in the shadows for my need. I shall have to find some other breath to speak, as such I must find somebody to understand. Perhaps it would be safe to find someone through letters. I may write some address  that neither I, nor anyone I know have heard, and get a receptive response. Perchance I’ll find a man who can give me the proper knowledge that I can use as a tool and finally chisel out a decision.